Marriage in the Orthodox Church

Holy Matrimony

The Orthodox Christian Vision of Marriage

In the Orthodox Church, marriage is much more than a legal contract or a celebration of romantic love. It is one of the Holy Mysteries (Sacraments) of the Church—a lifelong union blessed by God and an icon of the love shared within the Holy Trinity.

Through the grace of the Holy Spirit, husband and wife are united in body, mind, and spirit. Their love is sanctified and transformed as they learn to lay down their lives for one another in the image of Christ's self-sacrificing love for His Church (Ephesians 5:25–33).

Christian marriage is a vocation of mutual salvation. Together, husband and wife seek the Kingdom of God, growing in holiness through prayer, worship, forgiveness, sacrifice, and service. The home becomes a "little church," where the Orthodox faith is lived and passed on to future generations.

Children are received as a gift from God. While marriage is not defined solely by the bearing of children, the Orthodox understanding of marriage includes an openness to the gift of life and the responsibility to raise children in the faith of the Church.

Preparing for Marriage

If you are considering marriage at St. Patrick Orthodox Mission, we encourage you to speak with the priest before making plans or setting a wedding date. This allows time to discuss your preparation, answer questions, and ensure that your wedding can be celebrated according to the life and traditions of the Orthodox Church.

Preparation for marriage includes:

  • Several sessions of premarital counseling with the priest.

  • Discussion of the Orthodox understanding of marriage and family life.

  • Prayerful preparation for the Mystery of Marriage.

  • Planning the wedding service according to the liturgical life of the Church.

When Weddings May Be Celebrated

Because marriage is a liturgical act of the Church, weddings are celebrated only on days appointed by the Church.

Weddings are not celebrated:

  • during the Great Fast, Apostles' Fast, Dormition Fast, or Nativity Fast;

  • during Bright Week;

  • from Meatfare Sunday through Cheesefare Sunday;

  • from the Feast of the Nativity (December 25) through the Synaxis of St. John the Baptist (January 7);

  • on the eve of Wednesdays and Fridays throughout the year;

  • on Saturday evenings;

  • on the eve of the Twelve Great Feasts or the parish feast day;

  • on the Feast of the Beheading of St. John the Baptist (August 29);

  • on the Feast of the Elevation of the Holy Cross (September 14).

Traditionally, the most fitting time for an Orthodox wedding is Sunday following the Divine Liturgy, highlighting that Christian marriage finds its fullest expression within the Eucharistic life of the Church.

Where Weddings Are Celebrated

The Mystery of Marriage is celebrated in the Orthodox church temple, where the Christian community gathers for worship. Because marriage is an act of the Church rather than simply a private ceremony, weddings are not ordinarily performed in gardens, event venues, or other locations.

Mixed Marriages

The Orthodox Church permits, under certain circumstances and with the blessing of the diocesan bishop, the marriage of an Orthodox Christian to a baptized Christian who has been baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and confesses Jesus Christ as Lord.

Such marriages are understood as a pastoral concession rather than the ideal. The Church hopes and prays that the non-Orthodox spouse will eventually embrace the fullness of the Orthodox faith.

Any children of the marriage are expected to be baptized and raised in the Orthodox Church.

The Orthodox Church does not permit marriage between an Orthodox Christian and someone who is not baptized as a Christian.

Second Marriages

The Orthodox Church teaches that lifelong, faithful marriage is God's intention for every husband and wife. At the same time, the Church recognizes that because of human weakness and sin, some marriages tragically come to an end.

In her mercy, the Church may permit a second marriage—and, in rare circumstances, a third—with the blessing of the diocesan bishop following a process of pastoral guidance and repentance. A fourth marriage is not permitted.

The service used for a second marriage differs from that of a first marriage, reflecting both the Church's compassion and the seriousness with which marriage is regarded.

Marriage Outside the Orthodox Church

Orthodox Christians are called to celebrate their marriage within the life of the Church. Choosing to marry outside the Orthodox Church separates one's married life from the sacramental life of the Church and affects one's participation in the Holy Eucharist.

Anyone who has questions about a previous marriage or marriage outside the Church is encouraged to speak with the priest. The Church's desire is always to guide her faithful toward healing, reconciliation, and full participation in the life of Christ.

Beginning the Process

If you are interested in being married at St. Patrick Orthodox Mission, we would be honored to meet with you.

Please contact the parish priest before making wedding arrangements so that together we can begin preparing not only for your wedding day, but for a lifetime of faithful Christian marriage.